I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Text me some of your sweat
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