Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
