Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize