What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
