i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
God, I missed his penis.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
