I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
