we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
