U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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