I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
