I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You need a sexual gate keeper
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
