We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he shaved USA in his pubs
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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