She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
