Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
