Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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