you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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