Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
one might say we're banned from that church
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
