Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize