May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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