We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize