That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
