i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
