Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
