dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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