Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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