Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
