Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
