I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
