Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
