hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
