dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize