When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
