I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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