He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
