the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
