Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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