from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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