My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
