we have pet lesbian snakes
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
