A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
not ubering you a puppy
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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