if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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