Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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