I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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