3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
