I swear she didn't look like that last week.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
