my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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