none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
