Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
