Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
