Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm at about main and main street
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
