She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
