Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Randomize
