Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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