But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
