I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
