he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
