Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
