ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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