capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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