That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
