i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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