Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I looked at my own cervix.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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